Shane Krider’s Mind Power: How to build empowering relationships with Alison Wheeler.
Based on podcast by Shane Krider
It’s hard enough to become a successful entrepreneur in life, for most of us, but to be successful and have a good relationship that’s a bit more difficult. Now, how about being a successful entrepreneur, while being in a relationship with another equally successful person, and creating synergy with them that equates to an empowering relationship. That, my friends, is the advanced game of life. We’re going to talk about how to get there.
If you’re not currently in a relationship, the concepts we’re discussing here are also relevant to any key relationships you may have in business, family or friends.
The guest we invited onto Mind Power today to share her wisdom is Alison Wheeler, a successful entrepreneur, mother and wife who has found the magic formula to not just balance everything, but also excel at it all. Her relationship with Paul Wheeler, who was a previous guest on Mind Power, is inspiring and I know everyone will benefit from hearing how they’ve managed to support and empower each other through their individual success while strengthening their marriage.
Alison has a varied background of working with a broad spectrum of people as an occupational therapist. She’s been a personal development coach since 2007, utilizing skills from both professions, she helps people to find themselves and live successful, fulfilling lives.
But it wasn’t until the right person came along that Alison cemented the keys to an empowering relationship. She recognized the need to be granted the space to be her authentic self. She needed a man that not just permitted her to have her own goals, but supported her to be successful, without it eating at the relationship. Paul and Alison have figured a way for them each to earn high six-figure incomes separately, while building a highly successful marriage and life together.
“We didn’t want the other areas of our life to power forward, like the businesses, to the detriment of our relationship. We wanted it all to surge forward together, so we figured out a way to do it.”
The key – 100% support, zero competition, and clear communication. Proper communication where one person talks, and the other really listens, absorbs and responds. Talk about everything that’s important, not just fluff.
“We talk about everything important to us in life, time frames, we talk about our goals a lot, so we’re clear on what we each individually want to achieve, and then we make a plan together, and then each go ahead and implement them separately. Don’t be each other’s Stoppers. Always say yes, and figure it out.”
This is such an important point. Giving space to each other to succeed, to go on your separate journeys towards different goals, while supporting each other no matter what is the winning formula for empowering relationships. It’s a cooperative effort to create that space for the goal to happen.
Creating the space, and not invalidating someone else’s goals, even if they seem really out there to you, is the game changer. Alison framed this well when she said sometimes you’ve got to give your partner space to fail. She doesn’t mean in ‘I told you so’ way; but from the personal development perspective of, learn and grow from this journey. Letting that growth occur, even if it’s messy and you want to step in and stop it, you’ve got to let your partner see it through, and most importantly, they need to see you there, supporting them the whole way. This is strengthening your partnership and leading to a more empowered relationship.
“When you’re in competition with your spouse, it’s impossible to have a successful relationship. If at any point, you’re trying to be better than your partner, then it’s a lose / lose situation. You need to be concentrating on a win / win synergy.”
In any relationship – be it in love, business, family – it comes back to taking 100% responsibility for where that relationship is now, accepting your involvement in creating what it is, and then look at how to change it, and empower it, or let it go.
Essentially, you can’t be an empowered life partner if you’re not being your true authentic self. You have to ensure you both give each other the space to work towards your Future Self. This can only lead to a stronger, more supportive partnership.
Here are some tips:
- Strategize together; take 100% responsibility for your part of the plan and action it.
- Don’t bring up the past unless it’s reminiscing about a fun memory.
- Create time for business and play for your relationships. Schedule it in! Create the space.
- Communicate, communicate, communicate! No topic is off limits.
- Do not compete with each other. No one is the winner in that scenario.
- Most importantly – support each other no matter what.
Follow these steps and you’re already building yourself an empowered relationship. Enjoy and prosper!