Self Confidence…
Based on a podcast by Shane Krider
Self-confidence is a beautiful thing but can be mistaken for ego or arrogance, which are negative counter parts of self-confidence. What I’m talking about is the calm self-confidence, the driving strength that makes you live on-purpose and achieve your goals. The kind self-confidence that makes you feel courageous, believe that anything is possible and gives you strength to follow through and action your dreams.
Creating great memories at a recent leadership retreat.
Here are the four self-evident stages of self-confidence and how to identify them:
Stage 1- mindset: I’M NOT. People in this stage have a mindset of I’m not setting goals; I’m not striving to achieve anything. They are just surviving day by day with no direction; they are stagnant and have no purpose. They don’t know what they want.
Stage 2 – mindset: I CAN’T. If you’re in this stage you’re thinking – I would, but I can’t. People with this mindset at least know what they want, but don’t believe it’s achievable; they don’t believe they can reach it so they don’t even try. “I would, but I just can’t!”
Stage 3 – mindset: I CAN. This is probably the most frustrating stage to be in, because you believe you can do this, but it’s still an unproductive stage. You are trying to do something, you have the ‘I can’ attitude, but there is a big difference between a person who is trying to achieve a goal, and a person who is doing it. ‘I can succeed at this business, I can lose this weight, but I’m just not doing it yet.’
There’s still a bit of victim mindset in this stage that needs to be overcome before you can graduate to Stage 4.
Stage 4 – mindset: I AM. People within this stage have advanced from saying I can. They are just doing it, in action, no longer trying they are doing. They are no longer listening to limiting beliefs, doubts and fears. They are getting on with it.
One thing I’ve realized since developing Prosperity of Life, personal development training company, and working closely with people to achieve their goals, is that if you have any belief that your goal is too difficult, you are creating a self-fulfilling prophecy. It is very easy to get stuck in the trying stage, crippled by a seemingly unobtainable vision.
Jerry Clarke is a personal development speaker and also an entrepreneur and he has a definition of hard and easy. If it is possible for me to do it, it’s easy. If it’s impossible for me, it’s hard.
A person operating from the place of I AM, is high in self-confidence strength. I AM are two of the most powerful words a human can be. Here are some strategies of how to get from stage 1 to 4:
- Raise your vibration.
What does this mean? Get in a better mood, fine tune your mindset, and invest in some personal development. Stop focusing on obstacles and start focusing on opportunities.
Then at some point, you make the shift and you start moving yourself through the different stages, you’ll feel the urge of inspiration and the change will begin.
- Create a bubble of pure possibility.
Compartmentalize your mind, and create a space and fill it with what you envisage for your ideal life. Do not censor it, do not limit it, in the bubble there are no obstacles or Stoppers, just pure possibility.
As that comes to form, start asking yourself why isn’t this possible? What’s going to stop you? Then find someone who has achieved this with the same short fall. Don’t think you’re educated enough? Find someone who has succeeded without a high school diploma. Don’t have any money? Find an example of someone who has overcome and achieved! Look for evidence around you to build up your confidence in what you believe.
- Choose your point of view.
This starts with the important decision that your goal IS possible. This then translates into doing; action; creating; I AM! Once you see it from this point of view, everything will change.
Work on yourself; focus on possibilities instead of obstacles. Give the gift to someone else, pass on the personal development message, this will propel your self-improvement journey straight towards success and change your language to ‘I AM succeeding at this. I AM focusing on my wins, I AM a successful entrepreneur.’
Make it the only conversation you are having, and do whatever you need to get to stage 4. Then ensure you have consistent discipline to stay there in the calm, self-confidence stage as it drives you further towards the best life you can possibly imagine. No limits!