I choose to believe in the philosophy that gives me the most possible ability to create the life I want. As far as I’m concerned, the only reason that a person isn’t really achieving their goals, creating the life that they want, is self-sabotage.
I believe if we make certain mental shifts we can begin to transform our experience of life and the results we receive in all areas – relationships, finances, health, whatever. We can transform it, and as soon as we get on track, these things begin to transform quite quickly.
Debating whether or not you should try – that is where dreams go to die. That is the graveyard of dreams and it’s a sad sad place to be in and a place a lot of spend a lot of time. Especially the older we get. I don’t want to be there I want to be in a different place, and have as much freedom as I can possibly have.
Below the threshold of conscious awareness, could probably see that you’re operating in a way that’s counter productive but from your own point of view you don’t really or aware what is triggering this behavior and approach to life.
I’m going to share three simple steps we can apply to stop sabotaging our success. If you have the guts – this is real transformational stuff.
- Fall out of love with your ‘poor me’ story and re-write one that is full of positivity and action, instead of self-pity, denial and inaction. Stop being the victim of life around you. Take responsibility for your actions, past and present.
- Stop with the ‘should’s. Don’t try to measure up with the shoulds coming from other people. Consult yourself; take it one step at a time. I believe in getting one thing right at a time. It is self-sabotage to take everything on at once. Focus on the most prominent issue, and go from there.
- When self-sabotaging energy comes up, don’t label it. This is the most practical action point on this topic. Take a step back and take that exact energy and do the smallest, easiest thing that is proactive to your success. Don’t over think it. Re-evaluate each small step as you go. Don’t live in the future, take control of the now.
Here’s an example of how you can roll this out in your life. The habit of self-sabotage is under the guise of helplessness, it’s all too hard. We apply effort, but we project the effort way into the future. I will never over eat again, I will quit smoking tomorrow. Forget tomorrow. Live in the now. And don’t beat yourself up if find yourself being counter productive. As soon as you recognize it, do something positive and you’ll lock in a pro-active state of being.
Until you want to give up your ‘poor me’ victim of life story forever, you will never gain your purest point of view, or the connection to the great infinite (for lack of wanting to put a label on the great unknown energy source!)
Eric Clapton shares in his autobiography how he found this essential mental shift during rehab. It’s an amazing account of letting go of the excuses, dropping the counter-productive routines of the past, and surrendering to the now by acknowledging that higher energy, that unseen power, and allowing the new positive mindset to steer you towards the results you want in your life.
Clapton was so addicted to heroin that in one of his performances, he passed out and had to be revived. Eventually Pete Townshend, “The Who” guitarist, convinced Clapton to give up his addiction and establish the Crossroads center for drug and alcohol treatment. This is his moment of clarity:
“I stumbled through my month in treatment much as I had done the first time, just ticking off the days, hoping that something would change in me without me having to do much about it. Then one day, as my visit was drawing to an end, a panic hit me, and I realized that in fact nothing had changed in me, and that I was going back out into the world again completely unprotected. The noise in my head was deafening, and drinking was in my thoughts all the time. It shocked me to realize that here I was in a treatment center, a supposedly safe environment, and I was in serious danger. I was absolutely terrified, in complete despair.
At that moment, almost of their own accord, my legs gave way and I fell to my knees. In the privacy of my room I begged for help. I had no notion who I thought I was talking to, I just knew that I had come to the end of my tether, I had nothing left to fight with. Then I remembered what I had heard about surrender, something I thought I could never do, my pride just wouldn’t allow it, but I knew that on my own I wasn’t going to make it, so I asked for help, and, getting down on my knees, I surrendered.
Within a few days I realized that something had happened for me. An atheist would probably say it was just a change of attitude, and to a certain extent that’s true, but there was much more to it than that. I had found a place to turn to, a place I’d always known was there but never really wanted, or needed, to believe in. From that day until this, I have never failed to pray in the morning, on my knees, asking for help, and at night, to express gratitude for my life and, most of all, for my sobriety. I choose to kneel because I feel I need to humble myself when I pray, and with my ego, this is the most I can do.”