Inward and outward success are both equally important. But you have to find a balance between the two. Ultimately, success is an inside job. What does that mean exactly? You have an inner version of reality. It’s the story that you’re telling yourself over and over again, and it shapes your outward success. This is happening whether you’re conscious of it or not. Unfortunately, most people don’t really see how what’s going on inside us is affecting us externally.

How One Bad Experience Can Hold You Back

Sometimes people will have one bad experience and then assume that everything that bears a similarity to that one thing is bad. For example, maybe you had a bad experience with a relationship. Now every time you meet a person who’s the same “type” as that ex, you immediately write them off as the same. But that might not be the case. They might be completely different. You might be missing out on the love of your life just because you’re stuck in the past.

What’s Your Story?

Everyone has a story. You have a story that you can use to your advantage, if you go about it the correct way. The incorrect way is to paint yourself as the victim by saying things like:

• No one understands me.
• Life is unfair.
• Everyone is against me.

Sharing your story this way is too dramatic. That story is too heavy, and no one’s going to listen to it. How are you ever going to succeed if you’re stuck in that inward story regardless of what’s happening externally?

For a while, this was happening to Shane. Even after he left his job, he was still stuck in that past mentality for a few months before finally letting go of it. In the real world, there are bullies. There’s politics. It’s easy to feel hopeless. But what you’re telling yourself is going to hold you back or move you forward.

How to Change Your Story

You need to get your story straight. Figure out what the problem with your job actually was and call bullshit on yourself if necessary. Make your story small. It’s okay to say that you had a jerk of a boss or you worked too hard for too little. Learn how to re-frame and re-package your story in a way that’s relevant. It’s a brand-new day! There’s no reason to stay in the past.

Ask yourself: why am I sharing my story? If you can get clear on why, you can figure out how to connect with the most people. Stop complaining about the past. Instead, be excited about the future. When you’re excited about something, you’re exciting! People want to be excited. Choose to shut off those internal re-runs from the past and turn on something new. Celebrate the freedom you’re experiencing now. Forgive the past and move on.

Highlights from This Episode

• Rachel demonstrates how you can repackage your story and use it to your advantage by using Shane’s story as an example. 12:42
• Success is about attaining a certain emotional state. 18:55
• Every part of your life is so much better when you’re excited! 19:50
• If you can’t free yourself from your internal prison of that past, your life’s only going to get worse. 30:40